My secret fear came true yesterday, that Russ would end up in the ICU with all of this.  He had not been recovering as well as I would have liked.  Still was needing lots of pain meds and oxygen, 3 days out from surgery.  Usually in general, you need IV pain meds for 1-2 days after surgery, then can do oral pain meds.

The day shift nurse did not like how he looked and his vital signs.  She called the doctor about it and a CT scan was done that showed he had a blood clot in his lung.  The surgeon that was on-call  wanted him moved to the ICU to make sure that the blood thinners for the clot did not affect his surgery site.

We had already planned that I would bring all the boys up to see Daddy after church and my mom would come and pick up the older two after she had her Easter dinner.  So I was there when the doctor said that they were moving him to ICU.  She came and got the older two, but since I had not come prepared to stay without Daniel, I kept him.

As we were waiting to transfer down to ICU, I could tell I was getting anxious though I wanted to deny it to myself.  I couldn’t stop playing with my watch band.  It didn’t really hit me until I was sitting in the ICU waiting room for them to get him settled in and they had told me I couldn’t bring Daniel back with me.  I started loosing it.  I was by myself with a sleeping baby, so I couldn’t even cuddle him since he was sleeping in the stroller and I didn’t want to wake him up.  I have had friend tell me that I am stoic.  I didn’t cry a lot and even now I want to tear up, but am trying not too since I don’t want to get Russ upset.  The only time I really cry easily is when I am pregnant. lol

I know it is for the best, but it is hard just to have a family member in the ICU.

We initially thought he might be coming home today, now I don’t know when it might be.  My guess is the end of the week, after they can get him on oral blood thinners and get them somewhat regulated.  I am hoping that I can work a couple of days this week, so I can spread out my FMLA as long a possible.  I worked Saturday, and as long as he is doing well I will work Wednesday and Thursday, depending on discharge. We still have a lot of things to figure out — child care and Russ care, sleeping arrangements.  I know it is possible.  It is just going to be an interesting spring and summer.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Khara
    Apr 13, 2009 @ 10:39:22

    I’m so sorry to hear all of this, Autum. I will keep you all in my prayers!


  2. Mindy
    Apr 15, 2009 @ 10:36:46

    We are saying lots of prayers for all of you. We love you!!


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